Bone Woman: Conscious Eldering
Age 43 - 49
Septennial #7
Change is frightening, but where there's fear there is power. If we learn to feel our fear without letting it stop us, fear can become an
ally, a sign to tell us that something we have encountered can be transformed.
Often our true strength is not in the things that represent what is familiar, comfortable or positive, but in our fear and even in our resistance to change.
An initiation has begun.
Maureen Murdock in 'The Heroine's Journey'
Image: Light in the Darkness prayer
In this cycle a major change usually takes place. It is as if all of one’s life experience up to this time is digested and then from the digestion new ideals and new directions in life emerge. There is often great unrest in this time – the unlived aspects of life cry out to be recognised and allowed. The desire to make a mark in the work if not already achieved presses for action in this time. Doubt may enter – questioning of our lives and whether we wish to maintain them as-is. Doubt is not always a bad thing – is can lead us to awareness of unhealthy aspects of ourselves and our lives.
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For many of us this is the mid-point of our lives. From this point there is decline, even if we do not feel it strongly. The emotional age and maturing of love may begin to show signs of unconditional love. Many of us maintain the emotional age of a child until mature years and many divorces and separations may occur in this cycle.
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We move from old stereotypical roles with a newfound confidence in our individuality. We are prepared to please the self, rather than society. We may gain a real understanding of our uniqueness, accompanied by an urgency to express our true selves before it is too late.
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42 is the polar opposite of the 28th year. Instead of the 28-year question ‘World, what can you give me?’ the 42-year question is ‘World, what have I got to give you?’. There is the opportunity to realise all the growth that has occurred to date and to use it in productive ways. This septennial is sometimes called the 'Mars years' -a time when the calling to undertake or complete one's life purpose is not able to be ignored. This urge often coincides with perimenopause. Bone Woman may be calling!
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Exercises
Respond to the following prompts in your journal:
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What responsibilities did you have in your life in these years? How did you experience them?
What was your sense of purpose in the world? Were you able to bring it forth?
What were your values?
Were you able to hear and follow your inner voice?
What creative urges were there? Did you allow them expression?
What recognition of you was there in these years? How was that?
What conclusions did you make about yourself, the world, life?
When did you enter perimenopause? How did you experience that?
Were there any life depleting moments or shocks? How did you experience these?
Did you experience a ‘second spring’?
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After completing the prompts, divide a page into two columns. The headings for each column should be ‘negative’ and ‘positive’. In the ‘negative’ column, write a list of negative experiences, emotions, themes, actions and reactions from this septennial. In the ‘positive’ column write the positive experiences, themes, actions, gifts, relationships from this septennial.
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Then, take a few moments with your eyes closed to feel into the negative list, considering each item you have written down. Then do the same for the positive list. Now, allow the two lists to merge – try to sit above or apart from the two lists and allow them to merge into one list, being, or energy – however you like to think about it. From this place, ask for a seed image to emerge, which represents the summation of this septennial, of the two lists and the merged lists.
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Your seed image may appear in your mind visually, or as thoughts describing the image, or in another way. Go with the first image that arises and open your eyes and draw it on the next round piece of paper.
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